BLACK and WHITE

I've always loved hearing other people play the piano, but haven't always enjoyed playing it myself.

My mother basically forced me to play the piano until i graduated high school. It was basically torture till i got into about 9th grade. I was always a bad practicer. Now i'm starting to regret that.

I've never considered playing the piano one of my talents. But when I can't think of any talents that I have  I use it as a back-up.

Ever since I moved out to school I have realized how much i took a piano for granted. I play it every single time i go home. Last week I told my family the first big thing me and my future hubby will buy is a baby grand. A girl can dream, right?

Well last september I was called to be on the music committee as a piano player. YIKES! I basically hadn't played the piano in a year and when i played, hymns weren't usually my focus. I could maybe play like 5 hymns without practice at this point. I cried. I hated it. I hated the girl that was "in charge" of me. She was mean.

I decided to suck it up, take it with a grain of salt and move forward. I figured Singles Ward callings don't last very long, maybe a semester at the most and so i'd be done before i knew it.

Well here I am, 3 semesters later still going strong. In fact, I had an interview 3 weeks ago and I thought i would be getting a new calling... oh i was right. Now I am the Music Co-Chair. Meaning that I am now the girl "in charge" however we don't have anyone to play the piano so i still play.

During the interview the bishopbric member sat me down and said "I want you to know that we have prayed about this multiple times and we feel very inspired to call you to this position"

I guess I didn't learn enough from my last calling and this is like a jab in the side.... I guess playing the piano is something i'm supposed to expound on. I guess it is a talent my Heavenly Father wants me to pursue.

Sundays that I play are usually really stressful for me and I don't really enjoy sacrament meeting cause i am always stressing over the closing hymn. I definitely don't play perfect. I mess up a lot. But I've been able to accept it. I now just smile whenever I goof instead of wanting to cry when i first started. So i have a different take on the music now, but today a girl from my ward came up to me and said "Thanks so much for playing the piano. You always bring the spirit into our meetings." That was interesting for me cause while I am fumbling around the keys and counting in my head and frantically trying to stay with the conductor, the last thing i am thinking about is that i am bringing the spirit into the meetings.

The blessings have been very eminent. I've put forth a lot of effort practicing over the past few months and my ability to play has increased so much! I'm able to sight read a thousand times better. AND... last week while practicing to accompany the choir i realized that i LOVE playing. I love the music that i'm able to create. I love the end result of a lot of practice. I love the ability that i have to read music and share my TALENT with others.

So mom, thanks for keeping me in lessons no matter how much i complained, the sacrifices to get me to lessons, and all of the recitals that you supported. I can honestly say I am so grateful for it.